


All That Your Heart Needs The Most

by roseandheather



Series: Bittersweet And Strange [24]
Category: Inspector Lynley Mysteries (TV)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Post-Case
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-11
Updated: 2014-06-11
Packaged: 2018-02-04 06:04:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1768225
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roseandheather/pseuds/roseandheather
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After a tough case and a tougher recovery, Barbara and Tommy find peace - and find themselves home.</p>
            </blockquote>





	All That Your Heart Needs The Most

The stark white of the hospital sheets has bleached the colour from her hair and skin, and against pale rose and ginger and cream, her eyes are vivid, vivid green and haunted with pain. She’s still not out of the woods – they have a respiration monitor on her and she’s hooked up to oxygen, in addition to half a dozen medications dripping through the IV in her right arm – but her eyes are clear, her fever is gone, and – most importantly of all – her breathing is relaxed and easy, and she’s not gasping and fighting for every breath. That had been the hardest of all, he thinks, to watch her struggle for every breath of air and know there was nothing he could do to help except stay by her side. Now, though, she’s breathing freely, and she’s looking at him and radiating regret and apologies from every pore. “Tommy, I’m _so_ sorry.”

It’s all he can do not to crawl onto the bed with her and envelop her in his arms, as he had done whenever he could while she fought her way through the feverish nightmares that haunted the hours between her brief periods of lucidity. “No, Barbara, no. I – “

“No, Tommy, I’ve gotta say this. I was... so angry with you, when you kept insisting Moxie was a viable suspect, the best one we had. And the truth is, you were right. No, let me finish. All the evidence pointed that way. But I was so sure, _so sure_ my childhood friend couldn’t have done it that it felt like you didn’t trust me – not me as a judge of character and not me as a detective. And I was _furious_. I thought, what happened to the past half a decade, when you trusted me even if you didn’t know why? And I... You stood by me when no one else did. You’ve earned my trust a thousand times over, and I – I was irresponsible and petulant and acting like a spoilt child, and you had every right to call me out. I let pride and personal feelings make me forget myself, and make me forget what my job was.”

“Barbara, love, we were both in the wrong. Yes, you should have admitted that with evidence stacked the way it was, she was a viable suspect. But you were right. I _should_ have looked in other directions. I was – rather jealous, of how close you seemed to be. I felt like I was taking second place – like you had something with her you could never have with me. I wanted to be the most important person in your life again. You’re not the only one who let pride block out common sense here, Barbara. I am sorry, darling. I really am.”

She looks at him, eyes drenched. “You will never take second place to _anyone_ – past, present or future. I _love_ you. Don’t you ever forget that. I said it before in frustration and anger, but it’s the truth – I’ve never loved anyone more. I’ve never needed anyone, not until you. I could no more stop loving you, stop needing you, stop wanting you, than I could stop the tides. You’re not just the best thing ever to happen in my life, you _are_ my life, and I’d rather fight with you than make love with anyone else. _Always_ , Tommy.”

He has to close his eyes against the stunning impact of weeks of suppressed terror as it sinks in at last that she is alive and safe and _his_. “After everything you’d think I’d be over this, but our fight, and then the shooting – I didn’t know what to do without you. It was my worst nightmare all over again, only this time it was happening to the one person I truly could not live without. I – “

“No, Tommy, of course you shouldn’t be over it! It nearly killed you the last time! If you think –”

She chokes up, and can’t go on.

“I couldn’t take it happening again. Not to you. To anyone else, but not to you. Never leave me, Barbara-lynne.”

 _Not even death could make me,_ she thinks, and all the force of it is in her reply.

_“Never.”_

And then he just kisses her palm and holds her hand tighter as they leave the need for words far behind, falling into the seamless, wordless union so familiar – and yet so new, every time – to them both, where apologies become meaningless and unnecessary and there is only the undeniable truth of who they are together.

Outside the hospital room door, the world goes on around them.

~*~

It’s around ten in the morning when he looks up at the squad room door for the third time in half an hour and sees her standing there, hair in a loose ponytail, wearing black yoga trousers and a v-neck sweater the colour of heather. As always, the purple does unbelievable things for her eyes, which look suspiciously moist even from this distance – and seem, to him at least, to be greener than ever.

His heart turns over in his chest and he freezes in his chair, their eyes locked even from across the crowded room as he drinks in the sight of her. The look on his face makes it plain to anyone with eyes that his world has narrowed to one doorway, one woman.

Taking a deep breath, she steps forward, never breaking eye contact with him. She absorbs his steady, unflinching gaze, the blaze of adoration in his eyes and the familiar expression of complete focus, and lets his love give her strength as it has done so many times before.

She slips through the door quietly, obviously hoping not to make a fuss, but any hope she had of that goes flying out the window when Nkata says, loud enough for the whole room to hear, “Welcome back, ma’am.” His voice hitches, and softer he adds, “It’s brilliant having you back, Barbie.”

She smiles and nods to her old friend, blinking back tears, and continues to move toward her seat in Lynley’s office.

That’s when the chorus starts.

“Welcome back, Inspector.”

“Welcome back, DI Lynley.”

“Good to see you, ma’am.”

“Glad you’re alright, Inspector.”

She stands stock still, shock written all over her face.

And then Lynley rises and walks straight to her, taking her face in his hands to press a fervent kiss to her forehead before he extends his own hand to shake hers.

Trembling with the moment, he says, low and clear, “Welcome home, Barbara. Welcome _home._ ”

She nods and grasps his hand even tighter, and as she’s gazing up at him with eloquent eyes, Nkata and Lafferty rise to their feet in unison and begin to applaud.

They’re soon joined by Annie Mason and Stephen Woodrow, and then the entire squad room is on its feet, the applause coming faster and louder until it’s a cacophony of sound, a wild, thundering ovation that ends with every man and woman in the room cheering wholeheartedly, welcoming their Inspector home at last.

Her free hand flies to her mouth, and she stands there and trembles as the applause crashes over her in a wave of overwhelming joy.

He wraps an arm about her shoulders, and she hides her face against his chest for a long, intimate moment before she turns once again to face the rest of the room – and then, still holding Lynley’s hand, stands tall and proud and beaming through her tears as she waves to the team whose loyalty she has earned a thousand times over.

It’s a universe away from the lonely, bitter, impossible, disrespected sergeant she had been so many years ago.

“Thank you, everyone. Thank you so much. It feels brilliant to be home.

“Now, who’s got the Holbourne file?”

“Right here, ma’am,” says Woodrow, and just like that, Barbara Havers – Barbara _Lynley_ – is back.

She shuts the door to his office, and as soon as he hears the latch click shut he picks her up off the floor, buries his face in her shoulder and just holds on for dear life.

Instantly she wraps her own arms around his neck and clings, melting helplessly against him. Taking a deep breath, she revels in the familiar scent of his pine-and-sea aftershave and – underneath that –something purely, quintessentially Tommy, and feels her heart stutter in her chest. She is home, she is safe, she is _here_ in the sanctuary of his strong encircling arms, and she never wants to leave.

When he finally manages to lift his head from her shoulder, he brushes his lips over her fluttering eyelids, then captures her mouth with his and kisses her breathless.

She clings even tighter and kisses him back hungrily, making a little noise of protest and chasing his mouth with hers when he breaks apart briefly to catch a breath before he dives right back in and lays a snog on her that has them both seeing fireworks.

As always, they lose themselves in each other completely as the world falls away.

“I love you,” he says, a short eternity later.

She smiles that blinding smile, the one only he ever sees. “I love you, too. Now, let’s get back to work, shall we, Inspector Lynley?”

He returns her smile with a heartfelt grin that melts her and replies, “Indeed we shall, Inspector Lynley.”

And with that, she settles down in her usual chair, props her feet on his desk, and begins to read.


End file.
